The wait

Nauseous yellow bulb
Above my head
Stinky, delivery food
By my bed
"Energy for tomorrow", you said,
Leaving for the night.

Devoid of strength,
On my bed
In this filthy room
I wait, I think.
I used to be loved,
Had a family that cared.
Now abandoned by all
Alone, aching,
I reminisce.

We were in love,
Childish abandon, youthful rebellion.
Anxious to grow, curious to know
This wasn't supposed to happen
Fairweather lover,
How did your affection dwindle?

Oh God, again.
Clutching the sides of the toilet
Spewing out burning bile.
Violently my body jerks
Wrenching out'f a starving gut
Every remaining fluid drop.
Dragging my feeble teen self
Onto the bed I fall, belly first.
The suffocation I ignore,
Turning around, I wait.
Wait for you, Wait for daybreak,
To suck out and shred this blob inside,
The life you and I made.
Our baby,
No, my baby.
Protective hand on belly
A lone, helpless tear escapes
As my eyes give in to numbing slumber.