I love food- cooking, eating and everything else thereof but have always been a wee bit of a health nut. Ok maybe sometimes bordering obsessive compulsion, especially when it comes to working out and keeping fit. So the fact that now I'm just packing pound after glorious pound with no end in sight really, really frightens me.
Now dont get me wrong I love (or am learning to love) the fact that I'm going to be a mom very soon. But sometimes I'm just terrified and shocked by all the changes that have taken place over a very short time. I dont understand how people can still look at me barely standing up and hobbling my big belly around, and say "You are soooooooo tiny, I didn't even know you were pregnant". Yeah right, you think I was born walking like an over-blubberified, crippled penguin??
And then, its always refreshing to hear words of utter support from the people I love-- my sister, "YUCK, you're fat!", my husband, "You are beginning to walk like a fat person now", family friend, "Awwww, you look so round and chubby". Really, with family like mine who needs enemies.
Not to say that this stops me from eating...I still eat as much as I always did, ie, resumed after morning sickness. Actually, my little one seems to be a bit of a healthnut himself--all I ever really crave for is cherries, peaches, gongura-mamsum (sp?, a traditional spicy Andhra dish of sour greens and lamb) and the very rare candy bar. I dont ever binge but my doctor still tells me to watch the weight gain (2 checkups ago I'd gained 10lbs in a month!). What is a pregnant food-loving health nut to do?? Well, I do what I most often do when faced with a complicated situation-- eat some more and sleep it off. Been working just fine so far.
BUT now...thanks to my crazy raging hormones, I've been having these mad, wildly vivid and borderline illegal dreams. Its just nuts-- my husband, people from days past and just random strangers doing strange, very strange things. So crazy and realistic, that I had a VERY embarassing situation (which will be repeated to NO ONE ever-- one of the few things that will be buried with meself) during my last visit home. My mother insisted that I sleep on her bed so she was the first person that day to feel the baby's early morning gymnastics, what followed-- divulging no details...was horrifying enough for mom to crawl out of bed before she even felt the baby!!! And this (I read) is all supposed to be normal-- NUTS I tell you, nuts! This baby making business is just plain hard.
And thats not even counting the morning sickness. 4 months, of regular spewing or near spewing sessions. Barely enough energy to drive to work and once you're back home all you can do is crash. Definitely not easy, I now have new respect for my mom and all the other women of the world who have had kids...KUDOS to you all!
But you know, I have to admit that everytime we go in for an ultrasound and see our little kicker (he goes berserk when mama has icecream) squirming all over the place, in random zen positions, its worth it, every bit of it. You have to admire and really cannot deny the miracle that is the creation and development of a new life. At the 18 week ultrasound, we saw the baby's spinal cord and that was more beautiful than any Monet. Fascinating.
Then at the nail salon today, having to wait 45 mins because of a mix up in sign-in sheets put me in a horrible mood TILL this gorgeous little cherub comes in. His mom said he was a month shy of 1 and weighed 25 lbs-- yeah, the fattest cutest baby in the world! Off went my bad mood and I went to the department store next door and went crazy buying baby books-- I've decided to read to my baby pudding to improve his cognition. Roller coaster emotions of the pregnant woman, I tell ya.